howard dean vs. the touchy white people

Dear Dr. Dean,

Sorry to hear that they are giving you such a hard time. The Democrats, I mean. It stands to reason that the Republicans would be hurling dung your way, but it must be at least a bit disappointing that your friends and allies are helping the attack dogs of the right do their dirty business. “He’s doing a good job”, they say, “but he says inflammatory things.” “He’s a lose cannon”. “Sticking his foot in his mouth again.” With friends like these, Howard, sheesh. Nancy Pelosi went so far as to say that she wants to “officially” distance herself from your statements, whatever that means. I suppose she’s afraid that those middle-of-the-road voters in San Francisco will be offended by your grossly partisan rhetoric.

Let’s review. You said that many Republican leaders haven’t put in an honest day’s work in their lives. That checks out. Though we have heard repeatedly that rebuilding Iraq is “hard work”, there is not a lot of evidence that G.W. has broken a sweat at any point in his biography. You’ve also said that you don’t like Republicans. This is something I would expect from the chairman of the Democratic Party. It would be far worse for our democracy if you went around talking about how much you liked Republicans.

But you really got their goat when you had the audacity to state that the Republican Party is “basically a white, Christian party.” Woah. They hated that, Howard.

I have this theory. I think that a lot of people in this country are “touchy white people” (TWP’s). This theory might be helpful for understanding why this one freaked them out so much. You see, TWP’s hate it when you remind them that they are white. It makes them uncomfortable. They usually respond by saying that the person who pointed out that they are, indeed, white people are racists for “bringing race into” the conversation. “Why you gotta make it all racial, Howard?” That’s essentially what they are saying to you. They’ve said it to me, too. A lot. Don’t sweat it.

Racism, in the minds of the touchy white folks, is something that bad white people do to people of color. It’s not a set of privileges, it’s not a structural injustice. The only evidence of racism is when someone is rude or mean to someone else because of their skin color. TWP's aren’t rude to people of color, so they are not racists. They are not racists, so their own race or racial privilege are irrelevant. End of story. Now you had to go and be rude to them by bringing up their monolithic control of a party and, by extension, the entire machinery of American society. In the minds of touchy white people, that’s racist, Howard. You see? It makes perfect sense. It's like when you say that hey, it's messed up that there are so many black people in prison and so few black people in the United States Senate. That's rude. It's racist to categorize people like that.

But you were right, man. The Republican party is indeed a white Christian party. This is most evident in the fact that their response to your charge was to literally name every non-white and non-Christian person in their party. The fact that they can do that, well, says it all.

Keep in mind, Howard, that many of the white people in the Democratic party are pretty touchy themselves. So, when they see the TWP's in the Republican party get savaged like that, you know, by making the argument that they are white, they band together. Expect more of the same if you insist on blowing people's minds by calling a spade a spade. Or, in this case, a picket fence a picket fence.

But don’t worry. I got your back.